In route to SoCal, we were intentional of our stops along the I-40 stretch. There were quite a few kid-friendly excursions, however, we are very selective and mindful of our socialization. A must stop is the magnificent Grand Canyon. I have seen its glorious beauty a few years back but Mike has only set his foot at the entrance of the park. As we pulled through the park, I can’t help but feel the sting of jealousy creeping in.
We have other neuro-typical kids and I always say that you are not as versatile of a parent if you only have one kid. You do not have a means to compare your one child with anyone in your household. Comparing your child to other kids living outside your home is a do-not-go-there-conversation. When you are raising several kids with different personalities, you get to wear different hats every single day, but when you have a special needs child, you get to wear a matching clothes and a matching ensembles on top of the everyday hats you get to wear. Depending on your child’s complex needs, you also have to be experts of many things — at least, it calls for expertise of your child well-being. You get to be a librarian as you have to index so many information about what works and does not work for your child. You need to learn medical terminologies because you have to be able to know what to dialogue with the real medical professionals. You get to be the uncertified educator because you have to be able to provide early learning concept to your child and continues support to the real educators, and you get to be the unlicensed therapist because you somehow have to provide continuum of therapy outside the professional therapy sessions. On top of all these other things you get to do, you still have a marriage, a household, and a livelihood to take care of.
When we plan for a vacation, it truly is a production. I don’t think my husband and I would be successful at parenting a special needs child if we aren’t able to tap into each other’s strength. I am a bad cop while he is the good cop. I am more focused and he is so laid back. I am the killer of fun while he is the enabler … so it is no question who Matt prefers.
As we parked our camper in the campground nestled inside the Grand Canyon Park, so many activities came into mind. It would be nice to hike along the approved hiking paths, but oh, we can’t do that because Matt can’t walk a long stretch without one of us carrying him. It’d be neat to climb a mountain to take a good picture, but that can’t happen either, Matt would never make it. This is “the Grand Canyon” — we wouldn’t want to be in the evening news … “a family of three spreading awareness fell down on the cliff trying to take a lifetime photo ops as its headline”. Every excursion we do, we are extremely cautious-filled-safety-measures-in-place-kind-of-vacationers. Cook, party of three, don’t have any adrenaline left to try to do activities to push the limitations set by Matt. For now, we do the best we can, make family memories even with sets of limitations. One thing we can tell you is that — Matthew can never say he has missed experiencing life and or deprived of family time.
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Not on the road five minutes and Matt’s already singing for us