Today one of my biggest fears became reality when my wife called to let me know that Matthew’s ambulatory EEG results confirmed he is having seizures. She was upset and my instinct was to reassure her that God always takes care of us and that Matt would be ok. We then called his primary care physician and she worked him in ASAP.
Unfortunately, I was in Texas for work but I wanted to be there so bad. My wife surprised me by video calling me from the doctors office, so I could still attend the appointment. Granted, I spent most of the time making faces at Matt but it was great getting to participate.
After the call I had a few meetings to attend but the second I could leave I headed home.
While driving I couldn’t get the memory of the worst episode he had which prompted the test. All I kept thinking was how hard that was and why does Matt have to deal with that too?
I then started to cry and cry and cry….I never cried with his original diagnosis but this was different. I couldn’t keep driving so I pulled over to pray. No! I don’t pray as much as I should but I had to ask God why!
I started praying and asking for help. No! God didn’t talk to me through a burning bush, nor did I hear His voice, but a lot of weight was lifted off my heart so I hit the road again. I turned on KLOVE and the first song to play was “Haven’t Seen It Yet” by Danny Gokey (video below).
The lyrics are:
Have you been praying and you still have no answers?
Have you been pouring out your heart for so many years?
Have you been hoping that things would have changed by now?
Have you cried all the faith you have through so many tears?
Don’t forget the things that He has done before
And remember He can do it all once more
It’s like the brightest sunrise
Waiting on the other side of the darkest night
Don’t ever lose hope, hold on and believe
Maybe you just haven’t seen it yet.
You’re closer than you think you are
Only moments from the break of dawn
All His promises are just up ahead
Maybe you just haven’t seen it,
As I was listening I asked God: “so why haven’t I seen it yet?“.
Right at that moment my phone beeped, and I received a message from my wife. She shared the below video of Matthew placing his own order for food, at Chick-fil-A, using his talker. He had NEVER done this before, so it was so amazing to see.
You talk about an eye opener. I realised that God didn’t need a burning bush, and that I needed to realize that He gives us blessings and miracles daily. We just have to pay attention. I thanked Him and then I had to pull over and cry some more.
All of us have struggles, and none are the same. The one thing that is the same for all of us is that we just need to trust in Him and he will always be there to carry us, even if we don’t see it yet.
Proverbs 3:5-6
I thank God for my family and especially for my amazing and beautiful wife for all she does, on a daily basis. Mahal na’ Mahal kita!